try again

I have tried to write this post four times. I got pretty far yesterday but then decided to delete it. So I will try again …

I feel overwhelmed and excited at the same time. There is major change coming in the next 6 days. Most has been a lot of work for faithful people who have sacrificed their time and energy for me. I am never sure why people would do that for me and I am never sure how I can ever thank them.

So a few random observations: I am part of a Christian community that is so (read SOOOOOOOOO) different from anything I have ever experienced. Maybe not what I wanted but most certainly what I needed!!!! Yet the fact that I am part of a community that embodies the multiple dimensions of both the Body of Christ and Anglicanism gives me hope. The community is willing to try different things (even my crazy ideas) and is motivated by love of neighbour.

I am so excited about the future of this community. Struggle, yes! I do not agree with everyone (or anyone) but I need not agree with people to love them. In the past, I adopted positions to please other people. I will try to throw my ideas into the pot but I am not the final cook – sorry, that is the worst metaphor ever.

Within this community, I think (I believe) I have a vocation. Somewhat a strange one but things have worked out in a way that I cannot but see the hand of God. And again, I have hope for the future. I am hesitant to share the particulars of that vocation – yet, again, I am fearful of what other people will think and what other people will assume.

So there you have it! I needed to write this down for myself. I needed to put it “out there”.

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