I like to escape. I want to run into other people’s definitions of me. Maybe I just have no idea who I am? Perhaps I am afraid of who I am? If I can wear a uniform I am happy. When I can fall into a role I can actually do I feel a sense of security. What when all of that is no longer available? Find a role? Create a role?
I have a comfortable rhythm to life at the moment. But I can hear the voice that questions everything. And the idea that I need to complicate things to make them real. Or, maybe, to make me real?
I have been thinking about my “religious past”. I feel drawn to a more “catholic form of Anglicanism”. Yes, I go to Mass and I like the formal terminology for clergy. I cross myself and I like kneeling. I like crucifixes. Is all of that an escape? Or is there something very personal about it all that touches me on a fundamental level?
Sorry for all the questions this morning. Anyway, a slow start to the day!