Day 18

I woke an hour before my alarm. Pretty soon I will be awake before I go to bed!

And, I admit, there was a feeling of disappointment. Why? Because every new day brings me closer to the end of this experiment. I have no desire to go back to “normal life”. “Normal life” pushes in on my solitude – I have parents that are sick etc. I really want to make this solitary life my “normal life” – leaving the house only for church and church related “stuff”.

I listened to more of the podcast from yesterday. It has some nice insights. One that struck me was “asceticism is not punitive”. “No pain, no gain” is not spiritual wisdom! Or, to put it another way, “the past does not rule the present”. And two particular thoughts came to mind.

  • The spiritual life is not about gaining forgiveness or seeking a reward. It needs to be about Jesus now. Surrendering to him in the moment, surrendering to him in the uncontrollable. Asceticism focuses me on him.
  • The spiritual life is about becoming the person whom God made. Yep, many things are not right and often the “me” falls out of the relationship. Yet, in the end, it is about moving into the “me” that Jesus has redeemed and the God loves completely. Asceticism moves me towards “me”.

On a completely different point, I think “creativity” needs to be part of the timetable: time set aside for creative “things”. That, for me, may include producing some videos or podcasts.

Anyway, have a blessed day!

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