I have so many things happening in my head that I often find it very hard to put them in order. So I was somewhat confused (and happily amazed) when I read this:

All coming into existence occurs in freedom, not by way of necessity.

Kierkegaard

A “new life” will not come without my choice made in freedom. No one is forcing me, circumstances do not set the agenda. And I think the moment has come for a choice. Without knowing the future and without allowing the past to slow me down. I know all of that but feeling it is a completely different thing.

BTW: the liturgical rites we have (baptism, communion, especially monastic vows) are a free choice for a new life.