After my recent changes I had hoped that I would return to feeling normal. I was hoping for some sense of balance.

This morning I had an insight: what is normal for me? Do I actually have any idea what a balanced life looks like for me? This is the first time in my life – all 50 plus years of it – that I have had the space to find answers to the above.

In the past, and this is one insight that has become clear to me, I defined normal by other people. I thought I could trust people. I thought I could rely on love and mercy working through people for my good, for my normal.

So while I feel somewhat stuck, I know why.