I woke this morning with the strong thought that it is okay to enjoy life. It is okay for me to be happy about my happy place, to enjoy the solitude in my hermitage, and to get pleasure from the things I do well. The outcome is not always as important as the journey – an activity can be enjoyable in itself. I do not have to accept every role that is given to me – I do not need to play other people’s game.

Somehow, I think, I had convinced myself that I am not allowed to be happy as me and had to pretend to enjoy the things other people enjoy. I have never really liked the “manly things” but have joined in to be part of the crowd. And I convinced myself that everything I do is judged by outcome.

I am grateful for the things that make me happy and I now realise that I do not need other people to enjoy the same things. My happy place is an end in itself!

It has taken me a long time to get here but now that I am I feel a sense of freedom. So what if I read a weird Danish poet who walked funny?! So what if I know a lot about liturgical minutia?! So what if I like theology or philosophy without wanting to be an academic?! I am allowed to enjoy being me.